Competence: "Being Good At What You Do"

My wife and I have six children.  Three of them are now married, and three are still at home. We chose to home-school each of them while maintaining a physical and social outlet within the context of organized activities.  There were various activities, skills and interests.  With six children, you can imagine, we tried them all.

When they were very young some of our children gravitated toward Martial Arts training.  In addition to the physical challenges we also wanted to make sure that that could defend themselves.  So this was a natural choice for our family.  You see, we have five daughters and one son.

Our oldest daughter, however, took up ballet classes and became a very beautiful dancer.  Our other four daughters did continue with their Martial Arts training.   One of them achieved her black belt, and the other three became brown belts, a rank just below Black Belt.

Two daughters are now successful business women.  One is in currently in business college and one is preparing for Law School.  Our youngest is still in High School.  Our son, now eight years old, is also training in Martial Arts and has recently achieved the rank of Brown Belt.

Our son was introduced to Martial Arts training when he was very young, having four sisters that were still training.  In his training system there are several words that must  be learned appropriate to the student's level or rank.  At any point during his class his Sensei may ask the student or class the following question: "What is a Black Belt?"  and the collective and sonorous reply of the students is, "A Black Belt is a White Belt that never gave up!"  and the class moves on to the next exercise.

When our son moved into the advanced rank of Red Belt, his previous rank, he had to learn the meaning of the word 'Competence.'  For his level of Martial Arts proficiency his material and understanding the definition of given words are required.  At this particular rank or level the word 'Competence' is required.  Not only must he know its definition 'being good at what you do', he must also understand the definition by providing examples of its use in practice.

I have always loved this definition because it resonates with power.  At eight years old he is learning the meaning of a pivotal value in life.  We consciously reinforce in him at home the mind-body skills that he is learning in Martial Arts so that he can master the skill.  We can see how the value of being competent is influencing his Martial Arts training, his school work and his social behavior too.

Here is another observation that resonates with me.  In our son's Martial Arts training he has to master a set of skills, and they are not easy by any means, and then he must be formally tested in front of his instructors, classmates, their families, as well as his own family.  He must master or demonstrate competence in order to move forward.  Just like his academic rigor, which is also based on the philosophy of mastery, he must demonstrate competence before advancing to the next level.

Our son's very accomplished Sensei has mastered three to four different martial arts, possibly more, with very high ranking.  Moreover, he teaches his students to be skillful and well-rounded persons.  The training is holistic.  Within the structure and format that is provided, the students are challenged to stretch themselves.  They are not measured against one another, but rather, challenged against themselves.  Our son worked very hard to move beyond the red belt rank.  He never gave up.  He wanted to be competent and achieve his Brown Belt.  He had setbacks, obstacles, and disappointments, but he kept on keeping on.  He never gave up.

He has been studying Marital Arts for a long time and he has learned that when he has achieved a certain rank and status that is not the end.  It is in fact a new beginning.  He must now go on to learn new rank material.  That is, he has built into his psyche a skill that will allow him to go far in life.  The ability to be an apprentice.

"Many people are blocked from growing because they lack the faith to enter into an undefined situation and lack also the confidence that they will emerge with strength after taking on the temporary position of an apprentice."1   Furthermore, he is learning that growing in life requires substantive humility to risk the unknown and struggling with the hubris of what others may think of him.  His mind will be open to independence.

"We must allow ourselves to enter into situations that we do not fully comprehend in advance and must trust there is a higher meaning to what we do.  This hands on experiencing, often involving actions that seem unfathomable at the time, allows a kind of wisdom that cannot be transmitted through the mind alone."2

We have an eight year old who is learning the intrinsic power of this type of wisdom.  He is learning the power of competence.

For more information about Dr. Rich and his teaching ministry, please follow his blog and visit his website.

1Matthew B. Schwarts, PhD, Biblical Stories for Psychotherapy and Counseling.  A Sourcebook. (New York:  The Haworth Pastoral Press, 2004)  81.

2ibid.